Thursday 7 August 2008

On......a return to the organized bedlam of Lagos

The first thing is always the humidity. Dense and sultry. Lagos-by-the-sea. Where no breeze dare ride freely for fear of being hit by an okada driver. Baggage collection is much improved with two separate halls divided by a Pyrex screen. Another flight has just landed but at no point do we have to go and check the conveyor belt in the other hall for misplaced baggage.

The long journey home. I am bracing myself to confront the traffic. The smallest things provide the greatest details. There is a small goat tottering across the motorway that leads from the airport. I wonder what it aims to do when it reaches the other side. If its entrails have not mingled with the motorway by then. The biggest road problem remains the bikers and okadas. Mechanical bees. They swarm around your car, coming from all directions, threatening to sting at the slightest provocation. There appears to be no law about what an okada can and cannot carry. I intend to set up a photo log displaying the varied passengers I have seen on the back of an okada. Today there is one carrying two passengers. Hardly noteworthy, aside from the fact that the second passenger is one half of a dead cow.

Businesses continue to thrive. Everywhere one looks there is the ubiquitous florescent green banner that proudly advertises some business or the other. Whoever creates those banners must be making a killing. One such sign for a charity bemuses me. Motherless babies. I wonder if there isn’t a good chance that the babies are not also fatherless babies. And if not why don’t they just call the thing an orphanage. It is only a euphemism of course but motherless babies always sounded a bit too cruel somehow. A bit too Dickensian.

Governor Fashola is doing a good job. Ask any one on the street and he will tell you. For the first time as far as I can remember, there are discernible changes in the way Lagosians are living. Actually, strike that. For the first time, there is a discernible positive change in the way Lagosians are living. The Molues are gone. There are proper bus stops. People are queuing. I am amazed. Many overhead bridges and walkways are now protected against the elements. I hope this will mean fewer deaths from breakneck pedestrians trying to cross a motorway when an overhead bridge is one foot away.

The mechanised tentacles of construction and redevelopment are spread right across the city but still too concentrated on Lagos Island. The mainland is still far and away it’s poorer cousin. Urban improvement is less visible in Yaba and Surulere than it is in Victoria Island and Ikoyi. It is still a tale of two cities. I know Islanders who do not venture into the Mainland unless they are going into the airport. If one thinks this is a class thing then consider that there are just as many Mainlanders who would rather prostrate naked on a bed of scorpions than live on the Island.

As we enter the island I notice the traffic in the other lane. It is the same traffic that I have been noticing since the Third Mainland Bridge. I wonder what time those at the tail end of the traffic will reach their loved ones. And what time they will need to set off again in the morning. I fear the effects of the partial closure of the Third Mainland Bridge. It will be two months of great difficulty.

Asda and Walmart killed the trader. We stop at the Palms and Shoprite is fantastic. You can find anything and everything at reasonable prices. There is a suya man there buying huge quantities of meat. I ask him in Hausa why he does not buy his meat in the market. He says that whilst the meat is still slightly cheaper in market, the cost of transportation there and back removes any actual savings. How long before there is a Shoprite in every corner of town? How long before they start squeezing prices and forcing small traders and middle men out of the equation? The cost of a carton of juice is twenty naira cheaper in the market than in Shoprite.

I am so happy to be back. It has been fourteen years now since I have lived here, disregarding holidays in between. Fourteen years. More than enough time to spend in any one place I reckon. These days you get less than that for murder. I will give myself ten years here then let us see what happens. America perhaps would be the next great adventure. Gosh, I will be 40 then. Where does the time go? I aim to have fun. I left Jand because I stopped having fun. There will be disappointments strewn across the road in front of me. Tragedy even. But I will hurdle each one and continue running. Let us meet at the end.

122 comments:

UndaCovaSista said...

Gongo aso!!!!
I'm first!!!
So that's where you've been. Ok, let me go read of your escapades. Welcome back

UndaCovaSista said...

You've relocated! Wow, you kept that one on the DL, dude.
I remember you echoing your sentiments about moving on from jand in response to a post i did on 'itchy feet' many moons ago...Way to follow thru!!!! All the best tho', and pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeese do not stop blogging. It will be nice to have your refreshing take on day to day Lagos life.

One last thing...What's Hausa for 'market'? That's how vivid your post was - i was trying to imagine you asking the suya guy why he didn't buy his nama in the market, but for the life of me, i cant recall the word!

olusimeon said...

2nd...i'll be bak

olusimeon said...

yeah, welcome to naija.,i have turned down a number of jobs cos i dont wanna stay in lagos..and there are some who would actually lie down on a bed full of scorpions than leave lag...

Nonesuch said...

welcome home. may the next 10 years be all and more than you hope for. mechanical bees.. that is the best way to describes those things my broda. you need to hook up a book deal soon o.

Kafo said...

wait we have Walmart?
what is Asda and i take it that Shoprite is the equivalent to grocery stores over hear

you made mii miss home
ahhh mercy
thanks

i wish you all the best on this new adventure

mizchif said...

Welcome back to your home land.

Hope the fun & blessings somehow manage to outweigh the disappointments.

Ur description was really vivid.
I soooo want to go home now!

I wonder how ppl will survive with the closure of 3rd mainland bridge.

Afolabi said...

finally!!! you put a post..Lagos is a truly remarkable city, and even if I'll argue to death with any of these Lag peeps, that PH isn't as bad as they like to put it, I'll always agree that Lag is a more fun and interesting city.
Like that your sought of nomadic (i.e 10-14 years in one place, that counts o)

onydchic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chari said...

welcome back o bros....

All the best men!

onydchic said...

Welcum back, dude.

And yeah, I'm one of those people too that would rather prostrate on a bed of scorpions than live on the island... but then that also applies to working anywhere else too! Lag is my home!!!

Jennifer A. said...

Aww...so u made the decision to move back to Naij! So proud of you. Please become an innovator and not just merely have fun.

U're so on point. First thing is always the humidity, the very second one gets off the plane.

Are u kidding? The molues are gone? That's pretty good. Kudos to Governor Fashola.

"If one thinks this is a class thing then consider that there are just as many Mainlanders who would rather prostrate naked on a bed of scorpions than live on the Island. LOL.

Naapali said...

so I check your site, no new update, go round on my patients, come back and find Undacovasista all over this one. Na wa o! Talk about blogstalking.

Naapali said...

"America perhaps would be the next great adventure. Gosh, I will be 40 then. Where does the time go? I aim to have fun. I left Jand because I stopped having fun. There will be disappointments strewn across the road in front of me. Tragedy even. But I will hurdle each one and continue running. Let us meet at the end."

- we will be here waiting for you at the airport, seaport or as you jump the fence in Arizona.

theicequeen said...

awwwh welcome back!! to Naija..and to your blog! been waiting for an update for quite a while..

lmao@ "Today there is one carrying two passengers. Hardly noteworthy, aside from the fact that the second passenger is one half of a dead cow."..i really do think you should do the photoblog thing on the things okada people carry mehn, cuz the things i've seen?/! ha, a whole flock of chickenens, several goats, bags of stuff bigger than the passenger, rider and bike put together..and on and on...

welcome back shaaa...hugzzzz!

Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo said...

lol@ mechanical bees...yes sometimes i want to swat those okadas

i loved this... i envy your spirit...you stopped having fun in london so you chose to leave...you chose to go home...'falling leaves return to their roots' indeed. i 2 want to head back home...i pray it will be soon

in 10 years you will be 40...yes as you say… 'There will be disappointments strewn across the road... Tragedy even.'

A22 that is life...not just life in nigeria.

The fact that you have chosen to 'hurdle one... and continue running' is a a good choice...a great mindset...for life

Here i will advise you to laugh and not lament when comparing what was and what is!

i hope you continue to change & grow positively as Nigeria changes & grows positively. I hope you are part of the many that are key in bringing about the latter; therefore, allowing the change to go on in a never ending circle

I wish u success...

p.s
somehow i don't think you'll leave permanently again after 10 yrs...but maybe you will...in the end we shall see ;-)

Anonymous said...

can you handle it?
or will u find urself counting down to the end of ur first year, anxious to hightail it outta here?

Nigerian Drama Queen said...

Wow you relocated? You were definately all hush with that one! Can't wait to read all the prose that will come from the hustle and bustle of Lagosian streets. Abuja for me, anytime, anyday.

You left cuz you stopped having fun. I like that. I love free spirits.
Take care.

ablackjamesbond said...

Welcome home.

May i join nonesuch to wish you all the best in your sojourn at home.

May it be all that you hope for and more.

Anonymous said...

U gotta love lagos dont u??
Nice to have u just 'round d corner..

@undacovasis... i know i know.. its "KASUA"

Candy

UndaCovaSista said...

@candy - THANKS!!!
You wont believe its been niggling me all this while :)

Jaja said...

The thing is that you have a remarkable spirit.

Its interesting the cool eye you use to observe Lagos.
Am Sort of suspicious of the place. Am sort of worried I may like it. But shebi I ll be there in just a few days.

Welcome back.

bArOquE said...

no better depiction of Eko from a returnee...Welcome Home man...hope its worth your while

Atutupoyoyo said...

@ UCS: Gongo aso. O ti so. How I have missed you. I actually remember that your post vey well. I will keep blogging no doubt. Kasua is market in Hausa

@ simeoneomobaba: LOL. Lagos is definitely an acquired taste but let us hope the improvements continue.

@ Nonesuch: Amen o. Thanks so much. It feels good to be back. Book deal ke? Na who want give me?

@ Thanks KAFO. I need all the well wishing I can get. Come home soon o! Start using those technical and literary skills here abeg.

@ Mizchif: Thank you. I am sure the positives will outweigh all the negatives along the way.

@ My dear AFOLABI. How u dey man. Lagos definitely has a soul. There is always something happening. I am definitely a nomad but those itchy feet will not be scratched for at least another ten years.

@ Chari: Thanks a lot

@ Onydchic: LOL. Another die hard mainlander. I no blame you o. Lagosians now where its truly at. And it aint the Island

@ My dear Jaycee. Your boy made the move o. I plan to innovate so please keep reminding me and praying for your broda. Will keep u posted and how it is going. And yes no more molues.

Atutupoyoyo said...

@ Paali: I know you will be waiting bruv. I am already looking forward to that chapter. But let me make the most of this one first sha.

@ Thanks ICEQUEEN. I'm telling u, those okada passengers are something else. Appreciate the hugs.

@ Shubby: I always appreciate your comments as they are consistently insightful. We cannot legislate for disappointment but we can certainly overcome its inevitability. Ten years? We will see. I too have a feeling that I go still dey sha.

@ Geisha: LOL. You cant get rid of me so easily o. I will still be here

@ NDQ: Thanks my sister. I go try. I love Abuja but where is the soul? It is like comparing New York and Toronto. One is cleaner and more organised but I know where I would rather be.

Atutupoyoyo said...

@ Black 007: Thanks bruv. Amen. It is good to be back.

@ Candy: For real u just have to love the city.

@ Jaja: Just come down my broda. We will kidnap u and u no go return to Port.

@ Baroque: Thanks sah. I too hope it will be worth my while. I am sure it will.

Carlang said...

And with that we are dazzled with dizzying bursts of infomation.
He is alive.
He is in Nigeria.
He is 30 years old.

Carlang said...

Welcome back Bro.
The country just gained an edge..
A positive one.

guerreiranigeriana said...

...atutu!!!...long time o!!....i admire you for returning...i want to be just like you very soon...looking forward to more vivid descriptions of life in lagos/naija in general...

Afrobabe said...

You left jand??? Good on you...I plan to leave as soon as possible too...all the best in your new errm endeavors...

you will be 40 in 10 years time so that makes u.....hmmmmmm

I have a crazy friend in Ajah...she knows all the short cuts...remember Joy of the Joyful runaway adventures....misadventures..

Idoma girl...stay away for ur sanity's sake...

bumight said...

you relocated too! I'm excited for Nigeria because of the mass exodus going on in America and Jand!

hope you enjoy it.

Joy Akut said...

I am one of those who wld go to d mainland only when I ve to go to d airport(or its absolutely neccesary),so glad u pionted out its not a class thing cos it so isn't.

Welcome home mister.the city of soul impatiently awaits u to explore her rythms.

Long time no hear.lemme knw where u r asap!

misspumping said...

i 'll see you when i get there i am all packed and ready to jump ship end of sept i be there

Mz. Dee said...

oh wow.. welcome back first of all!

lol @ the two passengers on the okada... u hv a way of makin the funniest thingz seem extremely ordinary.

Femi B said...

hmmm...i've been thinking/planning moving back myself for a year now. I fear i may have regrets. Do u have any?

Nigerian Drama Queen said...

Hey Atut,
Could you email me when you get the chance: nigeriandramaqueen@yahoo.com. I would like to discuss something with you.
Thanks,
NDQ

tobenna said...

Welcome back Atupo!
Good to have you here.

Chris Ogunlowo said...

Welcome back Sir.

Onyeka Nwelue said...

Hi. I'm still waiting seriously for that stuff. It's has actually laid me back to polish up the last edit and send it to the printer! I would be waiting to read your mail.

badderchic said...

YOU WHAT? okay, sorry, you are a patriotic Nigerian. welcome to the world of Nepa, Agberos and Shandi!

Ekoakete said...

Atutu in Lagos! Wow... I hope it goes well for you dude. Lagos is the richer for you being there. I've also been hearing good things about Gov Fashola, long may it continue!

Smaragd said...

wow! welcome back home A to the 2 to the 2.

wish i could say sth really witty right now but i'm drained. i swing between the island and mainland rather well, so i guess i'm a rare breed.

U will enjoy Lag, and one thing for sure u'll never get bored!

Smaragd said...

oh and i forgot to mention that power supply is now being rationed and quite effectively... 12hours a day, so u might get 12hrs day i.e. 12midnight to 12noon or 12hrs night i.e 12 noon to 12 midnight.

uknaija said...

Wishing you well, keep the stories coming... when PHCN permits

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

home will always be home.

its good to be home again regardless of surroundings.

all the best.

Allied said...

I know more about you my male alter ego

You speak Hausa
You are 30 years old
You now live in Nigeria... Lagos state to be exact
In ten years you might live in US
You will be blogging less -- as par no light

You are going to have fun in Lagos - by force by force...

Home will serve you well. It will indeed.

bArOquE said...

howz lasgidiz men? hope not as much madness gets to you as is getting to Jaja right now...

@Allied, why dont i think Atutu always lived in Lagos? in the North, i'd guess

Unknown said...

oko iya mi, how far?

holla at your girl o, let us know

Waffarian said...

@naapali: first of all, I doubt atutu will be jumping any fences with that old back of his!

Meanwhile...damn bro...ten years? abeg make it five jare, many more places to visit.

You know I am your biggest supporter, no need to make long speech.

Lots of love, my brother.

Bunmmy said...

welcome back

miz-cynic said...

NO MIND ME ...LAYABT...THE WRITING STYLE LOOKED TOO SERIOS FOR ME INITIALLY UNTIL I CONTINUED READING....SERIOSLY...AN AVERAGE ABOKI BUYING MEAT IN SHOPRITE...SAYING IT CHEAPER???/...NOW THTS A LAUGH/.....BUT seriosly....are u serios????

TheAfroBeat said...

Ah Atutu don jabo jand?! Just as i got here....tsk tsk. "Welcome back" o, I'm sure Naija will/has received you with open arms. I hear the new phrase all over the place is "re-pat", and you fall into that category so learn to embrace it ;)

Can't wait to hear all about your adventures. And pls salute Fashola if/when you see him!

theicequeen said...

atutuuuuU! where are you now? what has Lagos done to you? you came back and haven't even given us a three line post sayin that you're all right..missssssin your posts o!..and gettin rather concerned :P

hope you're good o!

Flowers and Poetry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flowers and Poetry said...

Well done! Last month, I made the move back to Lagos after living in the UK for a while, I'm having the time of my life!

Notwithstanding the poor infrastructural facilities- NEPA et al- I will scream from the rooftops of my home in Surulere whilst clicking the heels of my ruby slippers three times a la Dorothy,"There is no place like HOME"

Eyin'ju Oluwa said...

Interesting read. I hope you're having fun. I cant wait to go back myself...

princesa said...

OMG!
You came back to Naija!!!
Welcome altho am sure its coming late.

U saw a suya man buying meat at Shoprite? that one na real executive suya man o!

You should holla, lemme show you a thing or two,lol!

Nonesuch said...

are u still in lagos? hope u are ok? update pls!

Ms. Piggy said...

Toots honey, how are you enjoying Lagos? This is so strange that we both moved back here roundabout the same time. And I moved for exactly the same reason - I stopped having fun in London. Lagos has been fantastic though, has it been as good to you? I sincerely hope so. I am enjoying myself so much I have begun to grow paranoid that the bubble will soon burst.

I set up a new blog to document the transition. Look me up when you have the time/power supply :)

Lots of love,

Oluwabitchyola Xxx

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