Tuesday, 20 November 2007

On......my recent journey to the Edge of Reason


What a complete and utter waste of time that was! Well for the most part anyway. I have been meaning to take the journey for a while now but time was always an obstacle. It was only meant to be a quick trip and I hoped to be back in time for the Arsenal – Man Utd match. Fat chance! I underestimated the journey time to Reason and was caught in Limbo on the Friday before the big game. Fortunately you can get Sky Sports in Limbo so I was able to catch the second half.

SO what exactly was the point of this trip I hear you ask? Well for a while now I have been questioning my very existence and wondering whether or not everything that I thought was real is in fact just a figment of my imagination. I wanted to find out more about meta-epistemology and the canard of unromantic love. The only way I could find the answer to these great uncertainties was to take a trip to the Edge of Reason; you know the place that shares a border with the Land of Craze-Madness. The Guardian advised me that I had to tread very carefully because the border between the two domains is inconspicuous and one could easily find oneself in the Land of Craze-Madness before one realised the difference. That was one place I did not want to end up The Guardian advised.

I had hoped that the journey would be a profound one and that I would return with life-altering titbits that might revolutionise your thinking. Sadly I learnt very little. I have come back with an awareness that my Edge is self -defined and very different from yours. We have all visited Reason at some point but my Edge began where many others had ended long ago. The entire domain of Reason was not as big as I had imagined and I must confess that Craze-madness land looked considerably bigger (not to mention more fun!).

All the locals in Reason were stony faced, hard-nosed and pragmatic. They rarely spoke and they didn’t even answer me when I asked where the nearest McDonalds was! The food was nourishing without being enlivening and their idea of fun was Scrabble parties and Su-Doku nightclubbing. I did meet a nice girl at one of the Su-Doku nightclubs but she told me later (over a bowl of Tofu) that she was not really an indigene of Reason and had crossed the border from Craze-Madness for the sake of a night out. I asked her to tell me more about her land and she said it was a place completely devoid of accountability and rational thought. She hated it she said and escaped to Reason whenever she had the chance. This sparked my curiosity somewhat because a place where accountability lies dormant is surely a male paradise. Just imagine…….I could fuck around as much as I wanted and not have to answer to anyone. Paradise I tell you. But wait….a lack of rational thought as well. Does that not mean that some girl I had two-timed could shoot me without her batting an eyelid? Hmmmmmm…. the land of Craze-Madness. I guess there is a clue in the name. I remembered the warnings of The Guardian and eradicated any thoughts I had of crossing the border.

My subsequent days in Reason were spent with the beautiful Osite of Craze-Madness and we killed many hours playing reverse chess and solving quintic and polynomial equations. We did not make love because despite our intense chemistry I was aware that she was little more than the fabrication of a dichotomised mind. I was not quite prepared to discover the epistemological ramifications of fucking a figment of my imagination.

Anyhooo….. I’m back in the land of Free Will now and as I already mentioned my trip was without fruit. Cogito ergo sum I guess. It appears though that I have acquired some soothsaying abilities during the journey and I can now see into the future. Go back to the first line of this post and I predicted exactly what you are thinking right now.

34 comments:

Zephi said...

I am first...securing my spot

Zephi said...

ewoo...atutu..this post is to advanced for me...are you sure you did not cross into the land of craze-madness and did not know it? Cos you kinda sound like them...lolz

what is epistemology? I'll have to pick a dictionary for that one...and the rest of you should not be acting like you know what that is...*hiss*

You know I wanna visit the land of craze-madness for a few...you know lose all inhibitions, and stop being to rational, stop thinking things over..
Have the attitude of "fuck it".. I heard if you have not lived life like that, then you have not lived..thats what they said

Atutupoyoyo said...

Zephi: That land of craze madness was kinda tempting but it is so easy to get lost there. Many have crossed over and never returned. Me I prefer to just dance on the border.

Naapali said...

finally! haba, wetin!
neway ur psychicness is not surprising.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Hahahaha!

Well, welcome back oh Atutu! As to these your newly acquired psychic abilities, abeg, tell me what numbers to play for the lotto....

lol!

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Onome said...

heeheeheeheehee............well er....all I'm going to say is am glad you're back(lol)...welcome back dearie

UndaCovaSista said...

Descartes ke? You've gone far o!
Sounds like a most excellent and bodacious journey, though. Pity it did not yield fruit. Ah well...
All this soul searching brings to mind a bible verse which goes

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known"

Hopeful B! said...

haba!
i be think say i be psycho,psycho analyst, psychologist and all that bla bla....but with this post....i gats to add Proff as a prefix to your name (hope i get that grammer right)this is brilliant piece and many thanks for making it 'a complete and utter waste of time'

lol

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

Not really. I take trips like that from time to time

laspapi said...

glad you're back safe. Always ensure you know the way home before taking off on these journeys.

Ekoakete said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ekoakete said...

LOL. What a complete and utter waste of time that was! Well for the most part anyway. At least I looked up the meaning of epistemology and learnt yet another new thing today... You and Naapali sef; To read your blogs I need two windows. One blogger, The other Dictionary.com. O ga!

fantasy queen said...

don't listen to reason..i've heard that a couple of times, but then its all there is to fall back on after a wild night out with craze-madness

okay, i'm going to cram the whole dictionary now, reading this made me feel like a dundy...all those words, jeez!

Anonymous said...

You are just a scream.... nice one on d soothsaying-ability

Waffarian said...

The land of reason, land of Craze-Madness and the land of free will.

Is that all there is? so what land have I been on all this while?

princesa said...

Lol!
You sure you didnt go over the edge bro?? Cos this post makes me wonder o!

Thank God you are back in the land of free will now.

Jaja said...

WhatI do like is being on the edge of of things... to have a romance with two worlds and still be one whole person.
You see how un-worried I am about your mental state? You have been mental from since, so what are you saying??

But having said that, a proper child should always know his way back home. (Nod sagely))

And finally, minus joke, its such an enlightened and sophisticated post. Which means its all a bit of madness and silliness really...

pinocchio's lil' sis said...

before i continue reading, meta-episte... wha?!!! and the canard...?!!!
sorry you lost me. i no go school finish.
maybe if i continue, i'll understand so am going back now.

pinocchio's lil' sis said...

aburo pino (blushing like a fawning fan) : you are so intelligent!!!

Jaycee said...

lol...

what a waste!

Jaycee said...

I've seen the land of craze-madness thru my window, but I'm safer inside my room of Sanity and Reason, I look thru my window and see so many mistakes in the land of craze-madness, and so I determine in my mind not to go down the same streets and highways. I would rather play my chess games and sudoku just to keep me sane...

lol...

Lovely read!

Aijay said...

Lol!! I don't think it was a waste. U know how it is with curiousity, now u know better.
Welcome back man! Lol.

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

oh boy, you never return from edge of reason?
wey the aiport where you take comot?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

ol boy, update nah...

Busola AK said...

dude! u think 2 much o! maybe u shld just live ehn? eventually d reason will come...might come a bit 2 late but it will come k?

Carlang said...

lol.
Welcome back old chap. There just might be hope for you yet!
Lovely post. I love the way you wrote it.
Very nice.
Nice.
I've said nice havent i?

lol

Onome said...

broda!!! dat proxi-gini no work ooo..it says i have to pay to sign up!!!(boohoohoo) but thanks sweetie(mwuah)

zerkhezi said...

'I was not quite prepared to discover the epistemological ramifications of fucking a figment of my imagination'
too funny.

i want to ask alot of questions about what u were up to b4 writing this post. Also for fear that i might not be as bright as i think i am, i've been racking my brain as to wot this post means. I want to accept wot u said as in it being a waste of time but i can't let it go o...all that english in the post cudn't have been for fun, my fingers still hurt from flicking from section to section of my very dusty dictionary.

curvyice said...

lol. i was like WTF.....lol neways it kinder made sense doe but again WTF......LOL

Allied said...

The land of craze-madness will always look fun for outsides but it is not what it seems to be and those who are in in the land of reason came from the land of craze madness. But itis good to go from the land of free will to reason.

No craze madness for me.

Love ur writing

Naapali said...

Dude so my first read was a quick look for the gist, I was bleary eyed from insomnia. On rereading I find I rather enjoyed it. I disagree with this: "I was not quite prepared to discover the epistemological ramifications of fucking a figment of my imagination."

In truth you know that is what we do most if not all the time. Historians may disagree but memory/imagination are but children of the same parents. Neurally they are quite similar. I admire you went on this journey, I hope you take more frequent trips.

Isi said...

um...i think am in the land of craze madness right about now...i need to get outta here fast!

Barbarella123 said...

Nice one!!! Lasr line made me laugh out loud...